Defences of the Heart
by yosafbrig
Summary: What if Harry Potter was a girl? what if she had a cat called Mildred? Armed with an attitude and a cat Alice Potter will change the world, of one person anyway. better than it sounds, read the first chappy at least? i promise you don't have to like it.
1. Chapter 1

DEFENSES OF THE HEART

CHAPTER 1

"_You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…"_

-Rose Walker, a character from Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman"

I found this quote, liked it, and decided I could make a fanfic from it, picking 2 people with perhaps the strongest of defenses around their hearts. I have also been wondering for some time what a female "harry potter" would turn out like, how much less likely she would be to let others tell her who she was, with maybe a little more self-preservation.

I do not own anything recognizable as J.K. Rowlings in this story. There will be occasional swearing, sorry if that offends, I will warn you before any chapter that contains it. There will also be a rather large age gap, sorry, i figure they live quality lives til they are well over 100, this age gap will be acceptable (is almost socially acceptable anyway)

Here is the intro to introduce you to this slightly quirky pottervise story:

Alice Potter was strolling down the dirt road that made Hogsmeade mainstreet thinking back over her first weeks of her 6th years at Hogwarts. She had just entered her sixth year and it was her loneliest yet. She had returned to Hogwarts after a brutal summer with her relatives with no word from her friends to find whispers following her as she searched for a compartment. Hedwig had died during the summer, poisoned by Dudley and aid had not arrived in time, and she hoped to explain to her friends before they could berate her for not owling, not they had owled her either. Finding the compartment containing her friends she was surprised and hurt to see the angry glares she received from the two youngest Weasley's and Hermione before the compartment door was locked and the blind pulled down.

Moving on she soon found a compartment with Neville and Luna, and entered but not before asking for permission to enter. From Luna's angry whispers about bumblebee's hiding as Nargles stealing common sense, and Neville's nervous glances in her direction she decided on getting her answers. Apparently the Daily Prophet had been slandering her again, this hadn't surprised her in the least, what did surprise her was that the Weasley family believed it, as well as Hermione. This year apparently she was going dark, because of the connection of her scar, and her constant "disregard for her elders and school rules".

She had been the brunt of much bullying from her year mates since the beginning of term, and was glad for these moments of peace as she weaved between the other students visiting hogsmeade. She had a beanie pulled over her scar, and a hair colour changing potion changing her hair colour from Black to Auburn, no one recognized her.

As she walked into the apothecary she ran into a surprised Snape, he looked at her oddly for a a second before he recognized her and his usual expression of disdain settled onto his face.

"10 points from Gryffindor for dyeing your hair inappropriately, I expect to see it back to normal by tomorrow breakfast or it will be a detention" Snapped Professor Snape.

"Yes Professor" Alice answered softly before proceeding into the small, smelly store. She had already planned on changing her hair back, she did not want this disguise to be wasted so she did not argue the detention, and the points were expected.

As Alice turned back to head towards the castle she heard a pitiful meow from behind some empty trashcans. When she looked behind the garbage bins so saw a tiny black kitten. The kitten was soaked from head to foot and every rib could be seen, scooping the cat up she decided to take her to Hagrid, but not before casting drying and warming charms one her and carefully putting her in the front of her cloak.

This is how she came by Mildred. Mildred was a black cat with bold yellow eyes, and after a few weeks of healthy meals she would not be dissuaded from been Alice's pet, not that Alice tried very hard as she had found to like the quite company of the cat, not to mention having something to look after.

The year passed slowly for Alice, and people slowly learnt not to bully Alice as strange things happened around those that did. While Ron and Ginny were hostile towards her, Hermione sat back and watched, Alice didn't care though, it hurt just as much. Now Alice was not constantly been held back by Ron's poor study habits and Hermione's know-it-all attitude she found herself excelling in charms and potions, and receiving tutoring in Ancient Runes, for although she had taken Arithmacy (mathematics was one of her favourite subjects in primary so she would not be deterred) she had taken Divination instead of Ancient Runes.

Several teachers had noticed this change, so had other students, while she did not have any official authority within the school, such as prefect status, she found more and more students came to her for help with classmates, tutoring, or simply a shoulder to cry on. People slowly learnt not to bully the younger years as well, regardless of house.

By the end of the year a buddy system had been set up within Gryffindor. Many of the first year problems she found came from muggleborns, ignorant they were of so many things, Alice simply could not help them all. Each first year was assigned a buddy, someone for the firsties to go to if they were in need of some help and the current prefects who, were very involved in each other, could not find time to do. They had also started a book, The Muggleborn's Survival Guide. The book contained useful knowledge that other muggleborns had stumbled across at their time at Hogwarts. Each Muggleborn and Half-blood were given a copy, it was updated once a term by the older students, writing and organizing the suggestions of other students. Professor McGonagall was very impressed and awarded Gryffindor 50 points.

Soon this book found its way into the hands of students of the other houses, with the help of Luna Lovegood, and a donation from the Potter trust fund 'The Muggleborn Survival Guide; by muggleborns of Hogwarts. was published properly, self updating, with a part set out for notes on your own experience, as well as a mailbox address to send your own useful information.

It was now nearing exam time and Alice could be found perched onto the edge of a turret of the astronomy tower. It was nearly the end of the year and her cat Mildred sat on her lap purring contentedly as she scratched her behind the ears. She was to return to the Dursleys in a few weeks and she needed to find somewhere for Milly to go, she would not suffer the same fate as Hedwig.

End Chapter.

There you go! one chapter, there is more waiting for you avid readers, but waiting you will be. I pan to space this out a little.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Mildred! Mildred! Come on Mildred" Alice sighed, she was seriously worried, normally she would find Mildred on the foot of her bed, purring angrily at her for waking her, the once she hadn't been was when she had been part of a prank. Needless to say, Milly was angry with her for a long time afterwards, and after a carefully placed revenge, no one pranked Milly again.

Right now it was time for breakfast though, and the charm placed on Milly didn't say she was hurt so she let it go. She paused in her eating, spoon halfway towards her mouth, she could have sworn she had just heard Milly purr contentedly, looking up towards the head table she saw her on the lap of a Professor. She stood up and headed towards the table

"Milly! Where the hell have you been! I was looking all over for you! Remember last time you ran off before I got up?" She scolded.

Milly looked up briefly glared back at her from her place on the Professors lap and hid her face again. Alice huffed, "Fine, Mildred," she said pointedly, "would you like to join me for breakfast at the Gryffindor table where I can test you for potential damage?"

"Meow" was mildred's response before she gracefully jumped down and sauntered off towards the Gryffindor table, not before pausing and throwing a look over her shoulder as if to say "well, are you coming or not?"

Alice just rolled her eyes before turning to face her Professor, eyes on her shoes and started to apologise, "I'm sorry for Mildred Professor, she can be quite a snob and doesn't normally sit on other peoples lap, and she absolutely hates been called Milly, not to mention today is her bath day…"

"It is fine Miss Potter, but see to it, it doesn't do it again" Retorted Snape.

"She sir," She said before looking up," Yes sir, Professor!" Alice blurted, clearly surprised to see it was Snape she had been talking too. Dear merlin thought Alice, it had to be Professor Snape Milly had sat on! Although he had been acting strangely towards her all year.

Snape snorted. "Cat got your tongue?" he asked.

"No sir, um, sorry again sir, I'll leave you to your breakfast then" She replied meekly before walking slowly back to her spot on the table, where Milly was waiting impatiently for her breakfast.

Throughout the rest of breakfast Alice kept glancing up at Snape, while Snape sat pointedly trying to ignore the sixth year Gryffindor.

Finding Milly, for the 5th morning in a row in the company of Professor Snape Alice simply threw her hands up.

"Whose cat are you anyway?" she said exhasperated and irritated. Instead of going and retrieving her cat she simply flopped down at the end of the Gryffindor table.

At the head table Severus made a barely noticeable huff, gently picking up the cat he stalked towards where Alice sat, her back to him.

"Miss Potter" Professor Snape drawled, amusement sparking in his eyes as he watched her startle.

"Yes sir!" Alice replied, doing her best to compose herself, something she had always had trouble with around this Professor.

"This is your cat is she not?" Snape asked.

"Well sir, I-" Alice started wearily only to be interrupted.

"It is a yes or no question Potter!" Snape blurted, angering Alice, if there was something she hated it was someone not listening to her.

"I found her sir, she was wet and cold and sick, I took her to Hagrid, Hagrid had me bring her back to health, she never left, and now she seems to have adopted you somewhat as well, so I would say she is our cat sir" Alice replied, her anger stirring, talking over whatever Snape was going to say to interrupt.

"Our cat!" Snape spat outraged "Our cat! I assure you Potter I want nothing to do with this furball! I especially don't want anything to do with you!" Snape was seething, how dare potter suggest something so utterly absurd, when was he asked about this?

"Try telling that to Mildred sir" was Alice's dry response as she gently took Mildred from her professor, more to protect Snape from Milly's claws at that statement than Mildred from Snape. From what Alice had observed of Snape he would not harm Mildred intentionally.

"Detention Potter! Tonight 7pm, I will have you scrubbing cauldrons to curb that cheek of yours, don't be late!" Snape replied before stalking out of the hall, just as other students started trickling in.

THE END of this chapter...

AN: okay- i know that was really short, i apologise and promise i will make it up to you, i just knew that if i kept going this chapter would b REALLY long, within the next week i shall upload a new chapter.

Also you may notice alice isnt as agressive towards snape as she normally is, that is because her confidence has been knocked pretty bad, and i believe a girl harry mighta been a tintsy bit more mature, especially after it was cuz part of the reason her godfather died was cuz she failed to trust snape.

more will be explained later bout ron+hermione's friendship, ive had friends "dump" me for pretty petty reasons, and it makes you feel like shit, especially the not really understanding why, that is part of her position atm! thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

This had been the first detention with Snape since the incident outside the apothecary earlier in the year. Sure he had assigned her detentions, but he had never overseen them for various reasons, she had yet to figure out the real one however.

Alice found detention that evening to be much the same as previous detentions with Snape, she was greeted with a short lecture on the cauldrons she was to scrub and then it was all was silent as Snape sat at his desk reading. Nothing had changed except for an increase in the odd looks she had been receiving most of the year, she had brushed those looks aside ages ago so she was unfazed, indeed she found her eye wandering to him more so for some yet unidentide reason.

"Potter, it is almost curew, you may leave" Snape said curtly. Alice gathered her courage for the question she was about to ask.

"Sir, um, I was wondering if you could have Mildred stay with you for the duration of the holidays?" Alice said quickly, not taking her eyes of the Professors desk.

"Why pray tell should I do that?" was Snapes silky answer, for however angry he was at Potters assumptions, he was rather curious as to why she had asked him of all people.

"well sir, my Aunt and Uncle don't like cats sir, they didn't like owls sir and Hedwig is dead now sir, so I need somewhere for her to go so she is safe and looked after sir" Was Alice's quick response, she could have lied and said her aunt was allergic, but she knew that would be detected by the professor and he would be angry, well angrier.

"I see, that does not however tell my why you want to leave Mildred with me, why not a member of your little fan club" Severus sneered.

"I'm sure you've noticed my fan club has quite diminished sir, and Mildred has obviously taken a liking to you sir, when she's not with me she's with you, and I trust you to keep her fed and watered and leaving her a place to sleep sir" Was Alice's reply as she looked up, gaze steady and level.

Snape was shocked, of course he had noticed, he had just assumed it was the other 2 thirds of the trio been an obvious couple, he was also shocked that Alice trusted him with her cat, it was clear she cared for it. Looking carefully into Alice's eyes he saw truth, and he saw the desperation. Ah, he thought, he sneered back and watched as Alice's face tautened with anxiety.

"So I am a last resort am I?" of course he was.

"No sir! You've been the first person I've asked, the only one I could really! Perhaps we can make a deal?"

Again Severus was surprised, and something he refused to acknowledge warmed inside of him even while his Slytherin instincts were going off.

"What kind of deal Potter?" Snape sneered, eyes suddenly intense.

----------------------

Okay, that was (another) very short chapter, the next one is really long I promise so it will make up for it. :) thanks all those people still reading! and thanks for the reviews! seems this story aint as popular, but it is my favourite so ner!


	4. Chapter 4

Thank goes to these guys for reviewing so far:

Rocky Oberlin

Unununium

Raven Marcus

ENJOY!

and to ununium and 917 brat for pointing out i had not checked to see if i had used the right doc for this chappy, lol, my mistake, but its all fixed!

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: This chapter contains foul language people! If it offends, I apologise and hope you will enjoy this chappy anyway.

* * *

Alice was suddenly nervous, holy shit, what had she gotten herself into, it was for Mildred she told herself, straightening her shoulders she looked back up at Snape.

Severus watched the nervousness be replaced by determination as he patiently waited for her response.

"In exchange for looking after Mildred between the end of June and the start of September of this year, I will free you from all life debts owed to the Potter line. I will also free you from all vows made to Evans line. Now and in the future, unless we both agree otherwise." Alice stated calmly, unsure of Snapes reaction and not going to tell Snape she had planned on doing this otherwise.

Severus paled at the implications of the words then flushed. Potter knew! But how! And my god, she could call in the debt to be paid anyway by looking after the cat, he would be in a better position if he agreed, but how he hated been backed into corners! Angry he bit out "Fine!" to Potter.

Alice smiled in relief, "Thank you so much Professor" she said before looking at Snape properly. Fuck. He was angry. She said a quick "Goodnight" to Professor Snape before tearing out of the potions lab, not slowing until she reached the fat lady's portrait.

The next few weeks were hell for Alice. Between exams, her ex-friends, Snapes anger and her fear of returning to the Dursley's Alice was surprised she had made it without losing control. Slowly she made her way down to the dungeons, Mildred leading the way. She was snapped out of her daydreaming as Mildred disappeared, following her she was surprised to see Snape sitting behind his desk, Mildred on his lap, that's not what surprised her though, it was the look of relaxed fondness as he petted Mildred that surprised her. Backing up silently she made sure to approach louder this time, knocking on the doorframe she was unsurprised to see Snape's cool mask back up.

"Potter" He said neutrally upon spying her in the doorway. Their gaze held for long seconds.

"Sir" Was Alice's response.

"Well come in and take a seat, take this blasted cat while your at it" Snape snarked. He regretted it when Alice had to come quite close in order to do so, as her hand brushed his abdomen he stiffened, trying to stop any inappropriate reaction.

Alice, feeling the muscles under her fingers stiffen hurried her pace and retreated to a desk in the front row of the classroom, Milly now in her lap.

"Shall we begin sir? Here is the book that has all the information about the rite that will be performed, chapter 4 I believe, although the pre-fix is helpful also, and a draft of the actual wording for the rite is on a sheet of parchment on the back" She said, handing the book over. As he read she sat silently petting Mildred, she was anxious, and it showed in her nervous gestures.

Finishing the book Severus looked back up at Alice. He had never really looked at her properly. Her first 5 years at Hogwarts he had merely seen a miniature James, pre-puberty she had his dark hair, and a similar shape in the face. Her chunky glasses, very reminiscent of the father obscured her eyes, lily's eyes making it easy for Severus to ignore that part of Alice's heritage. Indeed, it wasn't until it was thrown in his face during a Hogsmeade trip had he ever really acknowledged it, he had known intellectually, but it was another thing to internalize it. With auburn hair, scar covered, and more discreet glasses he had momentarily thought he was looking at Lily, it was during the following weeks of observing her that he had realized that she was neither parent. Make no mistake, he still disliked the child, but no longer was it for the past shared with her parents, although there was still resentment, and he still used her as an outlet for his own frustration and anger. None of his insults seemed to faze the child, and it was necessary for his role as a spy, not to mention he couldn't direct it where it was centered.

"I believe I am ready, why the line about future vows? Surely you do not plan on making a vow to me, or I to you?"

"Well no sir, but we are at war and both our positions are quite central, we can not foresee the future where a vow may be needed, or insisted upon, this clause means it is possible, and possible with any of our descendants, although only we will need to add anything to the vows to make it work." Alice replied carefully. As they eased into a discussion about the rite Alice found herself relaxing, she had never had a discussion such as this and was pleased to discover he understood her easily and was able to keep up. She found herself wondering what it would be like to discuss potions with him.

The rite was completed an hour later and silence descended. Severus found himself feeling lighter than he had in a long time, he no longer owed anything to a Potter, and he no longer was bound to an impossible task, not only that but he found himself looking forward to the company he would have over the holidays.

Alice was relieved, she no longer had to worry about Mildred, although as this worry receded she found the fear she had pushed into the back of her mind pushing to the surface. Severus didn't notice the distress of his student, instead he noted the time. Dear merlin it was late and he still hadn't started his marking.

"Potter, it is time for you to return to your dormitory, I have marking to do, in 2 days the Hogwarts express leaves Hogsmeade at 11am, you will give me anything I need to look after Mildred for the next 8 weeks just after breakfast. Is this clear Potter?"

"Yes sir, good evening sir" Startled out of her darkening thoughts she quickly got up to leave, pausing at the door she turned back to Snape, whose head was already bent over his desk.

"I thought I told you to leave Potter" Snape said.

"You did sir, I just wanted to thankyou for looking after Mildred sir, I know you'll do a good job" Alice said quickly before leaving.

Snape did not raise his head until he was sure Potter had left, when he did, to red spots were apparent on his cheeks, cursing followed this realisation.

Hehe, there you go. hmm interesting, why would alice releas him like that? maybe she's trying to release herself from her parents memories, trying to be herself? do you know how hard it is to be yourself, and be recognised as urself wen ur constantly compared to your parents? or other family members?

Anyway, any problems you find tell me! Muchly appreciated.

Sorry this story is slow going, not much has happened, but then again a lot has happened you know, and i hate stories where harry and severus just jump right into been good friends, no worries, it always feels a little fake.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Weasley clearly hadn't learnt his lesson from earlier in the year was Alice's first thought as she was backed into a corner Ron and 3 of his other dorm mates surrounding her. As the blows rained down on her emancipated frame her next thought was 'oh man was Ron Weasley going to pay'. Summoning her wand she let off a sonic boom that threw her assailants away from her. Standing shakily to her feet she spat the blood from her mouth before turning a glare up at the jeering boys. Although slightly more cautious, months of suppressed rage meant they would not be deterred.

"Thought we'd let you go home without saying goodbye did ya?" Weasley tried to sneer, the boys behind him laughed.

Alice just rolled her eyes, and waved her wand vaguely, "of course not, I've been looking forward to it all year as I have found your presence to be rather repulsive", out of the corner of the eye she saw Professor Snape approach. She wasn't sure whether this was good or bad.

Snape stood in the shadows reminiscing on the scene, only 20 years ago it was Severus backed up into the corner, and Potter doing the cornering. Let's see how Potter managed this situation.

"Are you going to go home to cry to your Aunt? Oh that's right! Your family would probably beat you for it, they beat you for merely existing as it is" Weasley tried again.

Alice paled and her indifferent mask dropped slightly as she glanced at the shadows where Snape stood in disbelief.

"Are you jealous of that too Weasley? Jealous that I don't have a mother to wrap me up in cotton wool?" Alice asked her composure slipping slightly into bitterness.

Weasley's anger flared and he started firing off curses, he was downed quickly by Alice but a few hit their mark, as the other boys moved in Snape came out of the shadows, taking away 10 points each before sending them to bed.

"I suppose an attack on a Potter doesn't even deserve a detention" Alice spat as she carefully inspected the damage, deciding whether her potions stores would serve or whether she would have to see Madam Promphey.

"No, it deserves the wrath of McGonagall" Snape replied neutrally, if Ron Weasley's claim was correct then he needed to investigate it, he had suspected but brushed it off, deciding that Dumbledore wouldn't let anything happen to his Golden Girl.

Alice let out a bitter laugh, "She hasn't done a thing all year, what makes you believe she will start now?" Alice was slightly distracted, trying to keep her composure when all she wanted was to curl around Mildred and let her tears fall, but not before healing herself a little.

"Did Weasley speak the truth, or did you merely lie in order to gain more attention?" Snape sneered, totally unprepared for this conversation, but needed the answers before tomorrow and the students went home.

"Truth is a matter of perception sir, everyone has their own version and will defend it 'til death, my truth has never been asked, why do you care?" Alice asked indifferently, stalling Snape.

"I don't care Potter, but as I am a teacher it is my duty to do something about it." Snape sneered slightly annoyed, what the hell happened to the potter that saw only in black and white?

"Oh? So why is it you've bullied and belittled every student not in your house, why is it you never do anything about the bullying that your own students partake in? You haven't cared before, don't start now. It won't accomplish a thing." Alice replied, rather disrespectfully.

"Why you arrogant little brat! Don't you dare presume anything about how I discipline my Slytherins! You know nothing about the segregation they suffer, nor the bullying!" Snape nearly shouted.

At this Alice just laughed bitterly. "oh yes sir, I know nothing about bullying or segregation! All this year the whole school, especially the Gryffindor's have had me labeled as insane, the rest are too scared to go near me, and what the hell do you think Weasley and his cronies were doing just now? Are you so naive as to think it was the first time? I am the enemy after all!" Alice ended in a shout, her frustration and pain reaching almost bursting point.

"oh, you have suffered so much, one year and look at you, you are already near breaking point, my Slytherin's come to this school expecting it, and suffer through it their entire career!" Snape retorted, disgust spread across his face, trying to keep control as memories of his years at Hogwarts as a student threatened to surface.

"What the hell do you know Snape? I never had a friend until I got to Hogwarts thanks to my bullying cousin! I certainly didn't get any reprieve at home either! I was just the freak, the scapegoat that got beaten when anything went wrong! I didn't even know why 'til Hagrid told me I was a witch! Then I get to Hogwarts and me, the nobody and the freak who nobody even looked at twice was famous because I lived when my parents died! Everyone expects me to be exactly like them too, to be perfect and when I'm not they hate me! Every year, despite having told Dumbledore I get sent back!" yelled Alice. She stood there breathing staring straight at Snape disbelieving face. Slowly Alice's anger faded to a dawning realization on what she had revealed, to Professor Snape! Suddenly she took off, a shout of "50 points from Gryffindor for screaming at a professor!" following her.

End Chappy 5! thanks for your patience, and thankyou to all the people that took the time to review!


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